Complete Hope

I revised my story "Complete," after recieving many comments and criticisms and also named it "Complete Hope" because it sounds like a better title than the one I had before. Hope you like it!

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I was a normal seventeen-year-old, straight-A student, and was in my last year of high school. Wait—scratch that—I wasn’t normal. I was always immersed in a book trying and succeeding to fit into the mold of the perfect girl that any parent would vie for. I never got into trouble, never talked during class, never went out of the house unless if it was to go to the library and study, never watched any movies or any TV, and never hung out with anyone who wasn’t like me, which would mean that I never hung out at all. I always raised my hand to answer every question the teacher asked, always had a schoolbook with me, always thought that people who had too much fun would never succeed in life, and always strived for praise from my parents.

Ever since elementary school I would be on my best behavior…well…elementary school doesn’t really count now does it? That’s usually when everyone is on their best behavior anyway and everyone is everyone’s friend. Okay then…on to middle school. I was usually top of my class; nobody would be even close to ahead of me. I would always study my heart out for a test and the next day, I would ace the exam. Not only would I ace it…but I would get a 100% (or 110%) on it.

You know, when in some schools they have multiple valedictorians and salutatorians? Well, when I was in high school, I was the school’s only valedictorian. I always knew I would be one and was excited at getting it at first, but soon after the excitement faded away and I, once again, became immersed in schoolwork. The summer before my senior year, I took the SATs and got 1590…oh well…nobody can be completely perfect! Instead of going outside and hanging out with friends or relaxing in the sun during the summer, I filled out all of my college applications early, started applying for as many scholarships as possible, and read all the books of the classes I was planning to take next year. Many people didn’t take as many classes as I did, because it’s senior year…who would want to stress themselves out anyway?

I still remember the times that everyone would make fun of me because of how smart I was, but one memory in particular comes to mind now…

“Ms. Peters, would you go up and do that problem for us?” asked Mrs. Arlane, our math teacher. I started and looked at her, then at the chalkboard, then went up and did the problem. As usual, I did the problem correctly without leaving anything out and smiling Mrs. Arlane praised me on my work.

I heard a couple of guys talking about me, “Of course, Alanna would do it correctly. Her parents probably don’t even want her, so she’s showing Arlane how much of a goody-goody she is.”

“Yeah, I bet Arlane would adopt her.”

The guys laughed and at once the smile on my face had gone into a thin line. When one of the guys saw my face, he stopped laughing and looked at me with guilt and concern on his face. It seemed like he really felt bad about teasing me but he didn’t say anything to me in front of his friends. What did they know? They’re just jealous that I’m smarter than them and they can’t get two plus two right.

Later on during lunch I had another book open; my physics book. I heard a couple of girls talking about me.

“Look at her…studying like the world never ends.”

“Yeah, I feel kinda sorry for her. I bet her parents want her to stay at home and study instead. Either that, or maybe she seriously likes studying as much as she does. I never see her aside from school.”

“She doesn’t have a life. It’s pathetic.”

The girls saw me listening in on their conversation and instantly glared at me and said, “Yes, do you need something, like a boyfriend? Or are you looking for some friends? Because I don’t think we could supply you with either option!” They giggled and walked out of the cafeteria…

I remember looking around the cafeteria and thinking, not one person was alone at all the tables. Everyone was talking to each other or eating in peace together, and I had also noticed that those girls were right. I didn’t have any friends, no one to talk to, and no one to have fun with. I mean…there were people who didn’t make fun of me…but they didn’t stop the ones who were either. Thankfully that was the last day of high school and most of the seniors had already left and had gone home so that was the last time someone had made fun of me.

It wasn’t as if I looked ugly or geeky, so I couldn’t understand why, throughout middle and high school, nobody wanted to be friends with me. Probably the only thing that had anything to do with being geeky or a nerd would be that I had glasses, but there were a lot of people that had glasses on and they had plenty of friends. Maybe it was just the fact that I had better grades than everyone else because I couldn’t find any other qualities of myself that they wouldn’t like. Oh well! I guess it doesn’t matter anymore since we were all going to college or were working, so there’s no point in thinking about it.

When I heard the girls talking that day in the cafeteria, it did upset me a little knowing that they were right about at least one thing; my parents did want me to stay at home and study all the time. At the same time, I knew that they were worried about me going out because of all the reports about girls being raped or missing and then being found dead days later. That's why I didn't feel so bad when they were a little too overprotective; because I knew that they loved me and just worried for my safety. They wanted me to be happy and to have friends, but they also didn't want any harm to come to me. Of course, none of my classmates ever understood why I would willingly go along with my parents’ decisions and many of their parents even praised me for it, since I was such a "good girl."

All of us (my classmates and I), had known each other since we were young and since we lived in a moderately sized town, most people knew everybody in town. That's why I sympathized with all my classmates whenever I heard them talking about how they wanted to get away from this town and experience something new. I always thought that even if you've lived in a city your whole life, you'll always experience something new in it, so I guess that’s part of the reason why I stayed. I wasn't in much of a rush to go off to college to some place I didn't know very well, plus I was a little dependant on my parents...who would want to do their own laundry or cook their own food when you can do all of that for free at home!

When you first get into college, you don't notice how fast your first couple of years fly by. A couple years passed by so fast that I didn't even notice it. I would always think something along the lines of: I'm getting old...it feels like I was just seventeen yesterday! Time sure flies by fast. Okay, I know I should’ve been concentrating on my homework instead of thinking about how old I had become, but I just couldn’t help it. When I finally looked up from my books, there was a guy walking into the library and he really reminded me of someone. Is that Austin St. John...on our campus? I thought he had moved away, along with all the rest of his friends. Austin, along with his friends, teased me throughout middle and high school but we were friends during elementary school. Go figure! I never did think he fit in with the crowd that he followed at school.

I looked back down again because I really needed to study to ace my exams, but of course, I started thinking about Austin again. If he saw me, it would be really funny to see his expression. When I had looked up again, I noticed that there weren’t many seats left open because of the fact that it was dead week and everyone wanted to ace their exams (or at least not fail them)! He noticed that I was the only one at my table and asked, "Do you mind if I sit here?"

I looked up and replied, "No, go ahead." You should've seen his face! It was priceless! He was so shocked that his mouth was hanging open and his eyebrows so high that I could swear they almost disappeared into his hair. He finally found his voice and said, "Uh, hi...how've you been?"

"I've been good," I replied and then smiled and said, "Weren't you one of the ones that really wanted to get out of this town and try something new?"

"Why yes I was," he said while grinning. He suddenly stopped grinning. “I'm sorry..."

I looked straight into his eyes and knew that he wasn't lying, and asked, "For what?" I had to make him say it just so it would be all out in the open.

"I'm sorry that I made fun of you all the time and I felt bad every time I did it because I just kept on imagining how you would feel after all our harsh comments. I really am sorry."

"I know you are. I'm just curious to know...why did you do it then?"

He gave me one of those pained smiles and replied, "I guess I just tried to get your attention and the only way to do that was to tease you...that's what my friends told me at the time, but we all know better now. I guess it was because we were just really immature and didn't care about people's feelings back then.” He then grinned again and asked, "So, is it too soon to ask if we can be friends?"

I gave him a serious look and said, "Hmmm...let me think about that." For a while I didn't give him an answer and he started to get impatient. I noticed because he often ran his hands through his hair like he might be thinking about pulling it out. I finally decided that he should be put out of his misery and I smiled and said, "Sure."

I found out that he was actually studying biology and wanted to go into the pre-medicine program. When I told him that I was majoring in photojournalism, he wasn't as surprised as I thought he would be. "I've found out that the people who are usually valedictorians don't go for the jobs that are really high in demand, but for ones that they actually enjoy," is what he told me that day.

After that day in the library, we always met there at least three times a week, just to talk and hang out. I know what you’re thinking…who hangs out in the library? Well, I do, thank you very much! We also exchanged phone numbers and talked on the phone whenever we weren’t at the library. Of course, my parents found out that I was hanging out with a “boy,” and when they found out it was Austin, they completely approved and my mother started planning my wedding day. My parents had known Austin since he and I were both in diapers, and plus the fact that I hadn’t told them that he made fun of me all throughout middle and high school, she thought we were a great match. I told her that there’s not much of a chance of us getting married. She gave me a big Cheshire cat grin and asked, “Why not? Can’t I even dream of it?” We had not even gone on an official date yet!

Well, I have to say that her dream did come true. After dating for a year, he pulled me aside one day after the Writing in Business course that we had together during our senior year and gave me a film canister. He knew that I loved photography, but I had enough film canisters already! When he told me to open it, it felt like I was in the scene of the Princess Diaries II—where a guy also proposes to her with a film canister. I open it and inside I found a note squished into it and I thought…where’s the ring? I gave him a look and he said, “What are you waiting for? Read it!” He looked a little nervous when I opened it up and on it, he had written a letter, which I knew was a little hard for him because he wasn’t much of a writer…but on it, he had written down all the feelings of his heart onto that piece of paper. I started crying and he started laughing. After he started laughing I knew that there was no hope for me…I started laughing while crying and hugged him like I thought the world was going to end right there. Whenever I looked back on that day, I have to say that we must’ve been a sight to see!

We had the wedding outside, in a nearby park with beautiful flowers which made it look like we were getting married in a rainbow full of colors. In my books I had always read of the happy endings, but it was nothing like actually living it. I was so happy that I felt like laughing and crying at the same time. I thought, this is the happiest day of my life, but that was before I had children…

…I remember the day our son, Miles was born and the happiness that I felt of having a family. Austin had just started on his residency as a pathologist and I had started writing for our local newspaper. Austin decided right then and there that he didn’t want Miles to be an only child like he and I were, so while we were still in the hospital and Miles had been born just hours before, we planned out when we wanted our next child.

About a year afterward, I had Anna and I have to say…not that I’m bragging or anything…but Anna, next to Miles, had to be the most beautiful baby in the world. I knew that day that my life was complete.

You’re probably wondering now, why I’m looking back on what happened so long ago. My son is now sixteen and my daughter fifteen. I’m the editor of our newspaper and Austin is a very well known doctor all around the US. He’s also one of the doctors trying to find a way for me to live.
A couple of days ago, while I was driving back home from my office for lunch, I was hit by a car that didn’t bother to stop on a four-way stop. The car hit mine on the side that I was driving and after that the world had gone black. Miles and Alanna were so worried that all they could ask me was if I needed anything, if I was comfortable, or in pain. I could see them trying to hide their tears and trying to be calm in front of me, but I knew that they were concerned for me.
When I had first come into the hospital, I heard from my husband that when the police and ambulance came, all they could talk about was how I could have survived something like this. I don’t really remember what my condition is—or was for that matter. I seem to be a lot more forgetful now because Austin told me that I had hit my head hard but that everything would be fine because he was there.

My handsome husband asks, “What are you thinking about?”

“Remembering when we had first met and then later on when we met in college. I was thinking how funny your face looked then.” He grins and kisses me again. He suddenly gets this look in his eyes that, after so many years of knowing him, I know he’s getting ready to say or ask something serious.

“Alanna…I never asked you before, but how did you survive us teasing you all those years? You were always happy. You never did talk back to us, but you never seemed depressed about it either. Because we said some pretty bad things back then.”

I give him a big smile and tell him, “You know those books that I read?”

He nods and I continue, “Well, most of them always had a happy ending, not only the fictional ones but the non-fiction ones did too. That gave me hope that I would have a happy ending too. Whenever you made fun of me, I would look in your eyes and I knew that you felt guilty about it and that you cared. You always cared Austin…that’s why I loved you ever since that day you teased me in math class. It might have started out with books, but it was you that gave me hope and still do.”